Johnny Football Has Never Been More #TeamNate In His Life

It all started with a factual blog stating that Johnny Football has no room to chirp the Browns for going 0-16 because the guy can’t even crack an NFL roster. I think most people would agree with that take- no NFL team thought he was good, dependable, or talented enough of a QB to help their squad this season, so who is he to take shots when he isn’t even in the league?

Well, Mr. Manziel got wind of my blog, and he had a response:

Yeah I am! You’re fucking right about that one. While some could possibly sense sarcasm, I’m going to go ahead and just agree with his assessment.

And then he started reading my timeline because immediately afterwards he replied to another tweet:

I agree! I should get a raise! And some equity to boot!

Now, many people are saying Johnny was being facetious (Johnny- that means “tongue-in-cheek…ah fuck, that means “joking”). Which I get. I just don’t think Johnny Football is a very good quarterback. I think it’s a miracle he was drafted in the first round, never mind the first day of the draft.

Now, I say all that to say this: Everyone knows Johnny is a member of Team Nate. I didn’t offer, he just jumped on like all the other Nateaholics who know I’m funny and deserve a raise (and some equity…to boot!) While Davey Portnoy chased him around like a school girl for 3 years (newer stoolies might not know this story, but Johnny literally strung Dave along for 3 years and would never meet him), Johnny was always Team Nate. So all I did today in return is what I do for everyone: Help and motivate:

So you’re welcome, Johnny. King Maker Nate doing King Maker Nate things. Keeping you humble and hungry to get back on that football field. It’s the least I can do for my fans. You don’t have to thank me, but I know you will anyway. And just like that, another member of the Spider Monkey Squad goes home happy. Maybe it’ll be enough to beat out Everett Golson for that QB spot up in Ontario. Maybe.