What The Hell Is Jason Garrett Doing?

At the beginning of the NFL season, I decided to write a blog every Tuesday on the Cowboys. As the only Dallas native, I figured it was my duty to give the silver and blue some attention whether they deserve it or not.

I don’t know if it’s because I got in the mud last night or what, but I’m fired the fuck up today. Too bad we aren’t recording a podcast episode or shooting the CFB show today, because I have blazing takes.

So, here’s your weekly live look at America’s Team:

I mean, sure they beat the Giants in week 2. Fine. Except it’s not hard to beat the Giants (unless you’re the Texans). But the Seahawks game was absolutely brutal. Why? The offense stinks. Same story, different day.

So let’s check in with how the offense currently ranks, shall we?

Yards per game: 30th
Points per game: 31st
Passing yards per game: 31st

BARF.

Naturally, you’d think Jason Garrett would think now is the time (again) to change something up like play calling, right??

LOL.

“We’re not going down that road”??? What?! Have you watched your offense play!? Give me a fucking break.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

Via NFL.com

“I think it would be false for me to say this is about play-calling. This is about everything we’re doing offensively, we have to do better. We have to coach better. We have to play better. We have to run it better. We have to throw it better. We have to protect better. We have to do all the things good offenses do and we have to do all of those things better.”

Oh, in order to win a football game you have to coach, play, run, throw, protect and do good things?

Ground breaking.

If Zeke can’t hold on to the ball, this current offense can’t do shit. I have no idea what happened to the creative play calling flashes we saw in the game vs. the Giants, but they were non existent vs the Seahawks. And Dak Precott is struggle city with his accuracy. He’s averaging a whopping 166 passing yards this season. (That’s dead last in the league if you’re keeping track at home.)

And there’s still no replacement for Dez Bryant. The offensive line is struggling mightily without Travis Frederick. It’s just not good. Across the board.

But don’t worry, Jerry Jones said on his weekly radio appearance that he’s not hitting the panic button.

Comforting, I know.

Thank God for Tiger last Sunday. It gave me a little reprieve from wanting to gouge my eyes out watching this Cowboys offense. Here’s to hoping the Detriot game isn’t as ugly. But I won’t hold my breath.

Dear Jason Garrett,